My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
