Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
