You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
