What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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