Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
