He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
