As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
