Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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