I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Randomize
