So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
