whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I am available for nakedness
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
