Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
