Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
