Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
