you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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