It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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