how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
