ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
