fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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