Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
