Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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