i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
