i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
