ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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