$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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