anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just took my morning after pill in the library
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
