we have officially lost it.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
