walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
