she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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