spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
