Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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