weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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