I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
