They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
