do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
