oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
