if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
