I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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