he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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