I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
