Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
