Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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