it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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