the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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