I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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