Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
