I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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