do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
