Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
