doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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